Corfu

This summer I had the pleasure of going to the Greek island of Corfu, a hot but surprisingly green island closer geographically to Albania than mainland Greece but culturally very similar to the mainland. Corfu sometimes has the reputation of being a party destination, where teenagers go to get drunk and burn their hangovers off on the beach before the drinking resumes. However, Corfu, despite being small, caters for a huge variety of budgets, age groups and interests, from the teenage party-goers to the mega-rich in the north, so the reputation its reputation is not fully deserved. For this trip at least I would say I fell nicely between the two extremes, so can give a middle of the road, average-person’s view of what Corfu is like.

It is always a shame that holidays inevitably have to feature travelling, which can be fun when all runs smoothly, with stunning views and the majestic sensation of flying, but a tiresome pain quite a lot of the time. When travelling to and in from particular from Corfu, however, you will probably have to negotiate the airport, which is tiny, outdated and barely fit for purpose. Attempting to catch your plane back will inevitably result in standing in a series of queues in a terminal built to handle a tenth of the passengers it does in the peak season. My personal experience was queuing outside the building to get into the terminal to then queue to go through check-in, which took ages because of staff shortages and a lady at the desk on her first day in the job (which isn’t to blame her, she tried her hardest), before joining the security check queue which was ridiculously long and again required standing outside of the terminal, and then queuing again at passport control, which was pointless because I watched someone accidentally walk through holding the wrong passport and nobody cared. After several hours of queuing I discovered my plane was late. However, bear in mind I am generally an unlucky individual so you will probably have a better experience. The airport desperately needs improvement but with Greek finances in the state they are this is unlikely to happen any time soon. The airport is disappointing, but all airports are annoying in some way anyway so this should not be enough to deter you.

Aside from the airport Corfu is great. I went in August and the weather was perfect; hot, but not unbearably so. The crowds are not massive and food, wine and anything else you want is not as extortionately priced as other places in Europe. Most of all though Corfu is beautiful. Despite the near-constant sunshine and the heat Corfu is lush and green, smothered in olive trees (as a result of Venetian rule when locals were rewarded for planting olive trees, resulting in 3 million being planted) and fruit trees. There are mountains and hills rolling across the countryside and the water is turquoise and deep blue, with rocky inlets nestling along the coastline. At sunrise the hills radiated pink and the sunsets produced such an array of colours it was like throwing an eccentric painter’s palette at the sky.

I stayed a little way from the airport in a small town/ village thing called Nissaki on a hillside overlooking the coast, which had all the basic things you’d need; a shop, a beach and numerous tavernas, some of which were clearly aimed at tourists and a few which also strived for a more local, traditional feel. From my all-too-brief experience Greek and Corfiot food is rather good, although all the sweet things seemed to be dripping with syrup (which is not necessarily a criticism). The tavernas I tried were all pleasant and friendly, although eating outside had the disadvantage of leaving you exposed to attack and harassment from wasps and mosquitoes, which does get quite annoying after a while. The wasps weren’t particularly aggressive just annoying, but the mozzies relished feasting on my apparently very tasty blood. I had the luxury of staying in a private villa, of which there are many scattered around the island, which provided an enormous amount of comfort, seclusion and panoramic views across the sea and along the coast. The road up to it was quite challenging, with narrow, twisting roads on the side of a cliff but if you have the opportunity I would definitely recommend going for it.  

Aside from the beach and a load of water adventure activities offered around the island, such as boat hire, jet skis, scuba diving and similar things, there’s also a few places to visit. Away from the tourist areas on the coast the island is relatively unchanged, and it is worth going inland and exploring the untouched villages and hamlets. There is also the highest point on the island, Pantorcrator (great name) which is interesting and strange, The summit has spectacular views, but perched at the top is an old monastery apparently still occupied by a solitary monk. However, residing next to and actually in the monastery is a load of communication masts, which, depending on your viewpoint, either detracts from the beauty of the monastery and the view, or offers a surreal juxtaposition of the old world values and the new. There is a particularly large, bright red tower right in the centre of the monastery grounds which resembles an Eiffel tower that’s been built by someone who’s never seen it but had it described to them; quite similar but also really missing something. I am undecided whether I liked it or not, although it had a weird cold-war, Bond-villain feel to it, and is probably more unique and memorable than it would otherwise have been. It’s worth going to just for the views.

Another thing to do is to explore Corfu Town, the capital and also where the airport is. Corfu has a rich history of invasion, occupation and cultural upheaval, and as a result there are several forts, ruins and museums to visit. The Old Fort, built on a rock right on the seafront, is good, exhibiting military buildings and fortifications, as well as an old lighthouse right at the peak of the rock, which  also provides great views across the town and the coast. There is also the New Fort, which, despite being the newer of the two is also the more decrepit, which is a little confusing. It also has decent views at the top although it is mainly empty, but is free so worth visiting. The museums I didn’t go to but there is an apparently excellent Museum of Asian Art as well as other local museums. Corfu Town also has bustling shops and narrow streets, and it is fun to get lost in the labyrinthine network. 

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Overall I loved Corfu, despite the airport and the mosquitoes. It was beautiful, hot, interesting and welcoming and I would be happy to go there again at some point. It is an island which can handle most people’s interests and budget and is probably not as busy as other islands and destinations. A very pleasant island and well worth visiting. 

 

World Cup Predictions

So finally we have reached the quarter final stage of this excellent World Cup, and many things have not turned out quite as expected in the long and tedious build up to the competition; Spain whimpering out, Costa Rica flying and only a few riots to see. Even the stadiums were ready on time. But now the real heavyweights are out to brawl it out to the bitter end as we edge ever closer to the finale. With many big names and a few swashbuckling new faces in the mix with no clear frontrunner, who will prevail and rise like a balloon in the wind to soar to victory, and who will burst and tumble back to earth? Here is my assessment of the contenders.

 

France

Key Player: In Karim Benzema they have an often impressive and occasionally infuriating front man. Despite always looking on the verge of tears, he has the ability to convert any half chance that presents itself and is a serious menace to the opposition, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

How have they done? So far so good for Les Bleus. They battered Switzerland, were strong against the physical and often brutal Hondurans, and were comfortable enough against Ecuador knowing they had qualified already. They were also good against Nigeria and have looked the least troubled team so far in the competition.

Their chances? Pretty good, I think. They have quality players in every position and even have the luxury of having good players on the bench too (think Sagna for instance) and most importantly are looking like a coherent unit, in stark contrast to the mutinous and divided team of 2010. They have yet to be seriously tested but the manner in which they brushed aside Switzerland, who went on to scare Argentina, suggests they could have enough to beat the Germans.

So, their chances? (out of 10) Probably 9/10

Are you brave enough to make a prediction? Er sure, I boldly predict they will end up as champions. Brave start, huh?

 

Germany

Key Player: Per Mertesacker. Only joking. Thomas Muller. He’s fast, never seems to get tired and is remarkably good at being in the right place to grab a goal.

How have they done? It’s been a pretty mixed tournament so far for them. The destruction of Portugal aside (who were not helped by the actions of that perpetual maniac Pepe), they were exposed against Ghana and weren’t all that brilliant against the USA either. Needing extra time to overcome a spirited Algeria side is also not the greatest confidence booster, although finally prevailing does at least demonstrate great fitness and determination.

Their chances? They have looked good going forward and weak at the back. Joachim Loew’s perseverance with a high defensive line, despite having the plodding Mertesacker, also suggests a tactical ineptitude that must worry German fans. I also still don’t understand the desire to play Lahm in midfield, a position full of talented options like Kroos, Khedira and Shweinsteiger, instead of right back where a centre back has been forced to deputise, and could prove a weakness against a pacey French team. Neuer, who is determined to be an on-field player and acts like he’s in a five a side team, always seems likely to make a mistake at some point and either get sent off or be closer to the halfway line than his own goal whenever someone shoots. But they are good going forward and can potentially rectify their defensive weaknesses.

So, their chances? (out of 10) 7/10

Are you brave enough to make a prediction? Having said before that France will be runners up I have to say they’ll lose at the quarter final stage.

 

Brazil

Key Player: Neymar. The poster boy of the Brazil team, there is serious pressure on the young lad, and so far he has managed to perform.

How have they done? They have been decent if unexceptional. It took a penalty shootout to get past Chile, drew with Mexico and were average against Croatia and Cameroon. Admittedly Chile are a good team with tremendous energy and spirit, but were outwitted by the Dutch in the group stages so Brazil should perhaps have been expected to finish them off in normal time. They have a good team but have been dependent on Neymar for their trademark flair and skill and have not looked as big a threat as other Brazil teams in the past.

Their chances? They have a serious weakness in their goalkeeper and how they cope with the expectation is a perennial worry. Fred upfront has thus far been unconvincing and leaving Willian out of the team seems an oversight. However, they have done what has been required and with the vociferous support they enjoy they may well grow and become the threat they were last year in the Confederations Cup.

So, their chances? (out of 10) 8/10

Your brave prediction? Semi-finalists, obviously

 

Columbia

Key Player: James Rodriguez. Young and immensely talented, he has arguably been the tournament’s standout performer, and is rapidly building a big reputation for himself.

How have they done? Very well. They have coped with the absence of Falcao remarkably easily. Columbia cruised through the group stages, overcoming the all-out defence of Greece, battling through the Cote d’Ivoire and shrugging off Japan in some style. Rodriguez and co were unperturbed by the fired up Uruguayans, who were missing their talisman Suarez, and have looked in complete control throughout the tournament.

Their chances? They are looking good but are coming up against the home team who I think will just manage to see off Columbia. However, if Brazil push too far forward they are weak to Columbia’s pacey counter-attacks, so I see it being a close game.

So, their chances?  7/10

Prediction? Will just lose out to Brazil. But if they beat Brazil they’ll probably win it because beating the home favourites will be such a confidence boost they will be unstoppable afterwards.

 

Argentina

Key Player: Silly question. Messi.

How have they done? Alright. They are labouring and being made to work a lot harder than should be the case, but are limping through nonetheless. They had arguably the easiest group but struggled against Iran, were held off for a long while by Bosnia-Herzegovina and were run pretty close by Nigeria. This theme continued against Switzerland and they have not had the comfortable ride that was expected.

Their chances? I just don’t see it happening for them. Messi is good and all that but I don’t know if he is at his best when playing for his country for whatever reason, and I just cannot see him pulling Argentina through. Di Maria has also looked out of sorts, although did score that crucial goal in the last 16 so may gain confidence.

So, their chances?  6/10

Brave Prediction? Hmm tricky, but I reckon maybe lose at the quarters. Having said that this World Cup has been hard to predict so maybe Messi will score 20 goals and Argentina will triumph, but I just don’t feel like it is their time.

 

Belgium

Key Player: A difficult one, but probably Kompany since he is one of the best defenders out there and is a strong leader. He has also won stuff, which is a nice experience to share.

How have they done? Well apart from producing the best game of the World Cup against the USA they have looked far from the finished item. That said, they have always found a way to win and finish games strongly, and have been reliant upon some inspired substitutions to see off opponents.

Their chances? They look weak, very weak, and a strong team will send them home. That said, Argentina also look weak so hopefully we will get another match like the USA-Belgium game.

So, their chances? 6/10

Be brave; Meh, quarters or semis, nothing more and depends how they deal with Messi. Van Buyten is slow and plodding so maybe that won’t go so well.

 

Netherlands

Key Player: Robben. Ah Robben, no one seems to care about the fact he gets faster as he ages and focus instead on his terrible diving affliction. I personally don’t think he dives, he just doesn’t react to gravity in the same way the rest of us do, which explains why he sometimes launches into the air then crashes down unexpectedly. Poor Robben, he’s so misunderstood. He is a good player when upright though.

How have they done? On the whole pretty well. They humiliated the defending champions in the most unequivocal manner and have looked pretty strong since, seeing off Chile and Mexico (which had nothing to do with Robben’s affliction), both of whom caused Brazil problems. The wobble against plucky Australia aside they have been imperious.

Their chances? Pretty good. Very good in fact. Not only have they been in fine form but they have the easier half of the draw and are probably favourites to reach the final. They must continue to perform and utilise their two star players but they should do well.

So, their chances? 9/10

Prediction? Were you not paying attention before? As I said, finalists.

 

Costa Rica

Key Player: Good question. Joel Campbell maybe. He’s fast and hard to handle.

How have they done? Well, of course I saw this coming, but everybody else thought they’d be the whipping boys of the group, served up like a platter at a wedding for the hungry guests to devour without a second thought. But they should have paid attention because now England and Italy have gone home early with food poisoning and Uruguay did not last long either. So yeah they’ve done very well and exceeded all expectations. And I compare them to food-poisoning bacteria in the kindest and most complimentary way of course.

Their chances? Well, they were written off before and look how that turned out, but now they are facing a team in fine form and have proven they can punish teams. Do they have any more upsets left? I hope so because it is a great story but I do have my doubts.

So, their chances? (out of 10) 5/10

Prediction; To lose valiantly to the Netherlands sadly

5 Games They Should Bring Back

With the massive growth of gaming over the previous decade, it is not surprising that many titles have been lost in the relentless wake of the never-ending  Call Of Duty titles and the far-too-familiar titles which are churned out year on year. The development of consoles, collapse of PC gaming and rise of online multiplayer has altered the gaming world for good. But there is still room to bring back a few classics, if any studio had the courage (and admittedly the stupidity) to do it. There are many games fallen from favour that could, and should, be revived, but here are my 5 choices.

1. Theme Hospital

I admit  that part of my great love for this game is because it was the first PC game I ever played, but there is so much more to it than that. Released in 1997, it combined a fun simulator gameplay with a wry, odd humour and a  charming simplicity that was highly addictive. The premise of this game was to manage different hospitals, building new rooms to diagnose and treat the various illnesses and conditions the sickly public walked through the door with. Now there are a number of simulator games around, but Theme Hospital stands head and shoulders above all the others because of the dark and strange humour the whole game was coated in; from the first screen on the main menu, where an Einstein-esque doctor is hooked off-screen by a walking stick, to illnesses such as ‘Bloated Head’ and treatments like the tongue slicer, the game refused to take itself seriously. Too many simulators are serious (flight simulator) or just too repetitive for any longevity (almost all the others) but Theme Hospital carried the perfect balance of increasing variety and challenge as the levels progressed and enough silliness to keep you amused and wanting to see more. The game gave you control of Surgeons, Psychiatrists and Researchers, Nurses and Handymen to treat as you pleased. One of my favourite features was trying to shotgun rats as they darted across the room, with that satisfying boom resonating with every shot. It was an insignificant part of the game but I still have fond memories of that. It was a brilliant game which could so easily be resurrected and I am sure would still work as a concept today on ipads and smartphones, but no one seems to be willing to remake it yet.

2. Crash Bandicoot

The flagship franchise for the Playstation, Crash games were an amusing mix of adventure, where you jump over things and throw boxes, and attempts to branch into other areas, such as Crash Team Racing (brilliant) and the arcade-like Crash Bash, which was my personal favourite. I never understood why Crash, an affable orange bandicoot creature with an array of friends, disappeared, especially when considering the continued existence of Mario for Nintendo, a far less likeable character and generally worse games, I admit there is probably not the same market for this sort of game these days, and the PS4 is undoubtedly wasted playing games like this, but again I loved the addictive simplicity of the titles, especially Crash Bash. CB was basically just a set of mini-games, but what made it fun was that it could be multiplayer, and it was great teaming up or against a second player to battle to victory. Modern games, with their huge budgets and scripted cut scenes are just cold, emotionless non-entities that lack the friendly, accessible nature of Crash games. So what if there was no story or troubled, complex protagonist? Modern console games attempt to be interactive Hollywood films, and I would applaud any studio which broke the pattern and went back to what made gaming in the first place, with Crash. (I concede that few people probably support me on this. I will also acknowledge Crash was a series of games not one, but oh well)

3. Conflict: Global Storm

Okay, so who remembers  the Conflict series? Anyone? Well, I do, and what great games they were. Before Call of Duty got so big and ridiculous and dominated the war/soldier genre, this intelligent third person shooter had a chance to exist. The player would take command of a squad of four, all with different weapons emphasising a different style of play; for instance the sniper, the machine gun wielding big guy, the explosives guy and a standard multi-purpose guy. The best part of this game was being able to swap between the characters as and when it suited you, and being able to position them for ambushes. The story was decent and subtle in comparison to modern shooters too, and the locations and objectives added variety and depth. The main reason I want Conflict back though is because I am desperate to know what happened to Foley, who is last seen fighting hoards of Colombian drug gansters at the end of the first mission. At the close of the game the remaining characters vow to go back and find Foley, but what happens? They never make the next one. I liked the gameplay, the settings and I liked Foley, so why promise me the chance to find out what happened to him then never come good? I see it as a personal betrayal. By bringing this game back they can let me know what happened to Foley and at the same time draw people who are bored of COD back to shooters. Seems so simple

4. Age of Empires

Age of Empires has always dominated the strategy genre for me, from the original game through to the expansion of the last instalment. It is a franchise which has been clever in developing the gameplay, graphics and eras it portrays while sticking to the core principles which made it a success in the first place, a feat so few other franchises accomplish. Essentially the game revolves around taking a nation and developing buildings and armies to defeat the enemy, and involves juggling the development of your army, civilisation and advancing through the ages to unlock more stuff. It is a simple enough concept but has a remarkable longevity in the gameplay to make it worthy of a new instalment. Most of the fun can be found through the variety of maps and nations to both fight and be, altering the challenge and often forcing you to adapt to your surroundings. A great part of this game was also that the AI was surprisingly intelligent, even in the early games, and would require some thought to defeat. The campaign missions, especially in AOE 3 were actually very fun and multiplayer an option too. As far as I’m aware it remained popular so why not a new one? The last edition to the series was Asian Dynasties in 2007, which is ample time to make a new one for demand to grow. I’ve always found Age of Empires enjoyable and would be the game I most demanded a new version of.

5. Michael Owen Soccer

Who’s bored of the sterile, mass-produced and all-too-serious Fifa and Pro Evo?  Fifa in particular has sucked all the fun out of the football game genre by being so serious and driving players towards the slow, calculated passing, Tiki-Taka style of Barca and Bayern and reducing the role speed and counter-attacking used to have, which was the only thing that made it fun. Not only are players now really slow, where even Bale can’t outrun the oldest, most overweight centre backs down the line, but Fifa has introduced the infuriating grappling and pulling mechanics, meaning your pacey winger is just grabbed and hauled back by the defender completely legally. It annoyed me so much I turned to the classic, first football game I ever tried, the Nintendo 64’s Michael Owen Soccer, and it was such a surprise. Yes, the graphics and animations were of course hopeless, but it was so end-to-end, furious and funny that it was a complete release from the stern-faced Fifa. Players would behave crazily, with almost every moment warranting a diving header; at one point I had two players airborne and arcing majestically through the air at a ball that was calmly rolling along the floor. Tackling back then was not about sealing attackers out with two defenders and ushering them into the corners, but of the old school charging in and launching defenders like cruise missiles at whoever had the ball; if you got it, great, if you didn’t you reload with the next player and launch again. This is so much more fun, especially when doing it two player, and has made me yearn for a more arcade-feeling, fun and silly football game to be made, and calling it Michael Owen Soccer will just let everyone know it’s not to be taken too seriously. Also, seeing the old players of my youth back again has its charms. I guess no one else really calls for this, but it would be great. Until then, I’ll have to make do with Fifa and the occasional revisit of the N64.

The Scottish Borders

When I think of a holiday destination my mind instantly runs to warm countries with palm trees, sun and blue skies. It’s an instantaneous, involuntary instinct to simply associate a holiday with warmth and more tropical climes. For the first time, however, I decided to go against every instinct and better judgement and headed north instead of south, to a place called Reston just over the Scottish border. A friend of mine had invited me to  his house there, and while I was keen to accept I couldn’t help but wonder if the Borders were really a place worth considering for a holiday. But, always willing to visit new places, I packed as many jumpers as I could find and set off to see what it is like.

The first thing that needs addressing is the weather. While Scotland is renowned for less-than-pleasant climate, the borders are a little better on the whole. Having been there several times now, there is a surprising amount of sunshine and blue skies, although you get surprisingly little warmth from it. The main problem is the wind, which is incessant and deeply annoying a lot of the time. Any warmth from the sun is washed away in the torrent of icy wind, and only gets worse as you near the coast. It is not even a seasonal thing but pretty much all year round. I find constantly eating my own hair and  walking around in a tunnel of blonde blindness, which wind inevitably causes, quite irritating, but if you like things dependant upon wind, like sailing or kite flying or whatever else there is, then maybe this is the place for you. So my first conclusion is that it is definitely not what I’d consider holiday weather.

However, holidays are made on what there is to do, and for sheer wild beauty this is an astonishing part of Britain. The coast offers a rugged, untamed quality, making you feel like an adventurer washed up in an unknown wilderness. The power of nature is keenly felt near the sea, where the wind and waves combine to smash and smother the shore. The coastal towns of Eyemouth, Coldingham, Dunbar and St. Abbs are all perfect bases from which to explore the coastline. St. Abbs in particular is scenic, while Dunbar and Eyemouth offer boats and opportunities to go fishing or diving (in the summer). On warmer days it is great to stroll along the coast, and visit the local pubs and cafes of the places you pass through. A quick word of warning; don’t make the really stupid mistake of thinking because it’s cold you can’t get sunburnt; I must be the only person to ever get burnt in Scotland, a title I can’t decide whether to be proud of or ashamed. I’m not even ginger so have no excuse.

Another thing in abundance is castles, which are littered, in various states of repair, across the region, owing to the turbulent history between England and Scotland, and earlier with Romans, Saxons and the like. The two castles I liked best were Bamburgh Castle and Lindesfarne Castle. Bamburgh Castle, the ancient seat of the Kings of Northumbria, is an immense structure perched on top of a hill overlooking the town of Bamburgh (I say town, it’s tiny) and the sea. It is quite inexpensive, interesting and very impressive to look at, and offers great views of the beach and coastline. The beach reaching endlessly over the horizon is also worth meandering across, although I ended up smothered in sand because of the wind of course. I was spitting sand out for weeks afterwards.

 

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Lindesfarne Castle is also impressive, resting atop a hill on an otherwise completely flat island. Built in Tudor times, it actually looks as though it is from a more ancient romantic period. It is a castle which bestows an almost mythical feeling upon the island, which already has a lot of mythical qualities; at high tide it is cut off from the mainland, as well as boasting a ruined priory which is still a destination for pilgrims. The Holy Island of Lindesfarne is however the windiest place in a windy region and was utterly freezing when I went; even the sheep shivered. (I know I’ve whittled on about wind a lot but it does get on your nerves after a while). There are numerous other castles and historic sites in the region to discover, including Alnwick Castle, used as an exterior for Hogwarts in the Harry Potter films.

The region doesn’t solely offer up historical sites however; if it is culture and entertainment you are after, Edinburgh is easily accessible from most places, either by car, bus or train. Edinburgh is one of my favourite cities, with a load of things to do from the castle, museums, cinemas, pubs etc. etc. It is a thriving, pleasant and friendly city which is well geared towards tourists (as are the prices unfortunately). Edinburgh is definitely worth visiting if you are nearby as it is such a nice city. The only other major population centre in the region is Berwick Upon Tweed, which boasts a couple of striking bridges, although I must admit I didn’t do too much there for some reason.

Other things the region offers include a load of wildlife and birds. It is not something I know much about but there were hoards of twitchers so there must be something good nearby. There was also seals, otters and other interesting creatures around for you to look at if so inclined.

One final comment is that I was struck by the friendliness of people in the region, particularly in the smaller communities; everyone said hello and how were you doing, which is something you would treat with the greatest suspicion if it happened in London, so was a pleasing change.

Overall then I would say I found going north instead of south a revelatory experience. There was plenty to keep me occupied, great scenery and it was fun to experience a different part of Britain. The weather and climate may leave a lot to be desired but there was enough to do to let you forget, or at least overlook, that fact. I would definitely recommend going there if you have the chance, and maybe in the process break a lifelong habit of going the opposite direction, as I did.

 

 

Fiction to Film; why do adaptations provoke such anger?

A friend was telling me recently how they hated The Hobbit films because they were nothing like the book on which they were supposedly based. This got me thinking about the idea of adapting novels into films, and why this provokes fans of the novel so much, and I thought I would take this chance to iterate my argument that a film adaptation is still worth seeing, and why I think book fans often dislike the film. It is almost inevitable when a popular novel is adapted that the legions of fans find the film an aberration and utterly abhorrent.  Why? It isn’t that the films are unerringly bad, or the novels on which they’re based infallibly good, or even better than the film. The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings films are often divisive, with the book purists claiming the films miss the moral point that Tolkien intended. Also consider Blade Runner, which is so far removed from Philip K. Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?  that it is difficult to put the two together in any way. So why does it matter, and why are films and the literature they were adapted from often so different? And why are fans of the original novels so hard to please?

The main reason why fans of the novel are rarely satisfied with the film is simply that an adaptation is inexorably different from the readers’ interpretations. This is to do with ownership of the novel; once it has been written, the ideas and the interpretation are not the author’s but each reader’s, so there are as many interpretations of the same idea as there are readers. Every reader will produce a different interpretation, and visualise it differently according to such things as the power of their imagination and the events and personal experiences that have shaped their lives. So for instance, a teenage girl may empathise with a teenage girl character more than a forty year old man. This variety in interpretation can fundamentally change how someone views a story, so no two people will view it in exactly the same way. This is the main reason why an adaptation will never live up to expectations; because it is the director’s interpretation, which will never be identical to anyone else’s.

To take this point further, an adaptation will be altered for film because, in a written novel, there is no limit in scope; a huge, alternative reality takes up as much space as the most mundane suburban kitchen, because it is all words on a page. In film, the director must wrestle with such things as budget and the limitations of what can be achieved in reality. A film, therefore, will also fail to meet a reader’s expectations because of the fact the adaptation has to adhere to more than just the imagination. Think about any books you’ve read that are considered unfilmable (Cloud Atlas being an example, though I actually liked the film more).  This too is the case with casting (and consider how many comments you have seen about the casting being ‘wrong’) because readers visualise the characters differently, regardless of how well described they are. It may just be me, but I tend to visualise any male protagonist as a version of myself, and all other characters based loosely on people I know or have seen (such as actors). The time limit of films also necessitates the removal of large chunks of many novels, which obviously has the effect of making the film different, and often depriving the film of character development and the depth that makes the novel come alive. This is a common complaint of adaptations but is entirely unavoidable, unless people are prepared to endure ten hour films.

A film also has to approach certain things differently. For example internal monologues and the exploration of emotions are harder in film than a novel. While internal monologue is easy to write, a film, unless it uses an annoying voiceover, cannot explore it in the same way. This often leads to characters being colder and harder to like than in a novel. Films often utilise music to set the tone and represent emotions, which is symbolic of the different priorities a film and a novel have; novels do not need to consider sound or visuals, they at most merely imply it. A film must be different, and it is all subject to the director’s individual interpretation, which of course differs from other readers’ interpretations. It is therefore no surprise that an adaptation is not faithful to readers’ expectations, because they all expect different things and will always be a different experience to reading the original.

One way of avoiding disappointment then would be to ignore the film entirely; it will never be how you want so don’t risk getting annoyed. Except I would argue that it is good to see adaptations of your favourite books, because it gives you the opportunity to explore someone else’s vision of a story you love and to compare how they see it to your own interpretation. Book clubs and discussion groups spend hours arguing over characterisation and the message of stories, and in viewing a film you can see how the same characters and world can take on very different meanings in someone else’s eyes. It can also be fun to see how a director has dealt with particularly complex or visually outlandish scenes. The Lord of the Rings is a great example, because it is an entirely alternative world that has had to be created. I always find it wryly amusing when difficult scenes have been altered or missed completely to make it achievable for the director; it somehow makes me smug, like I’ve caught them out.

It may though be best to simply view a film as completely separate from the novels. I enjoyed Master and Commander, despite being an avid reader of the twenty books. The film had changed a lot, was supposedly based upon the tenth book although had taken part from the first and third, and was so different from the novel in terms of plot I would have not enjoyed it if I was expecting a faithful retelling. However, they managed the core feature of characterisation of the two protagonists well, which I always considered to be the defining part of the books, so could appreciate it as a separate story with the same characters.

To finish then I would say that an adaptation not being close to the original work is not grounds to dislike or dismiss the film. Of course if it is awful and boring or silly you can dislike it, but the opportunity to see a new angle and see how a different world has been created must be worth some appreciation if it is done well. So don’t despair if your childhood favourite is not how you wanted it, it happens to all of us. Just enjoy the film for what it is. You never know, sometimes the film is better than the original on which it is based, like Jaws.

JP

European Odyssey Part 2;

Part Two: The Way Back

Munich

A final sleeper train dumped us at Munich station at a most unnatural time of the morning, and we wearily explored the city; I have to admit I was exhausted, as the train had been rough and we had been woken up twice for our passports to be checked. Having not pre-planned or researched any of the places we visited, preferring instead to be carefree and figure it out as we went along, we perhaps didn’t make the most of Munich in our limited time; regrettably we only acquired a tourist map late in the day, so had to content ourselves with visiting places with intriguing metro station names, with some success. The 1972 Munich Olympics Park was good, and still in use as a sports facility, as well as the Allianz Arena, the home of Bayern Munich. In the centre there is a huge cuckoo clock, which makes a tremendous racket every hour, which was definitely worth a look. Having extensively sampled the famous German transport system, I can conclude that Munich’s metro lives up to its reputation, and a police raid on the metro, checking everyone had a ticket, was a bit of unexpected excitement.

The weather continued to be great, and our hostel was again clean and sufficient for our needs. In the evening we did what most tourists do and toured the beer halls and gardens. Getting beer in litres is amusing, although the prices are unfortunately quite sobering. More organisation and time needed, but I liked Munich overall.

At this point I appreciate for half the places I’ve said more time was needed, but the point of this trip was to take in a lot of places cheaply and quickly. Of course staying at each destination for longer means you can do it more thoroughly, but it also limits the number of places you can visit. I personally liked rushing to a new place, seeing it and moving on to somewhere new and exciting, but others may prefer a more sedate pace. Dunno why, but people are different.

Rome

To get to Rome, the place I was most eagerly anticipating, we had to endure 2 train journeys over 13 hours, which was not the most fun I’ve had in my life. It didn’t help that the train was late arriving, but the worst part of that journey was yet to come. To keep costs down, we’d booked to stay in a holiday tent park/ camp thing on the outskirts of the city. The place itself was great, with a shop and restaurant, nice showers and facilities, as well as a laundrette (until this point we’d washed our clothes in sinks) and the tent was actually a big square construct, with a locking door and three beds in. But getting there was quite an experience. A few metro journeys brought us to the outskirts, but from that point we were at the mercy of the Italian bus system, which is awful. Most buses have a set route and time, but Rome appeared to operate a system where the driver does the route whenever he or she feels like it; which was not very often. It is pretty infuriating just standing around for an hour, with no guarantee that the bus has even left the station. But, for all the waiting, it was almost worse when it arrived. This route was a very popular one, so many hundreds of people were impatiently waiting by the time the driver decided to do his job, and the crush in the bus was suicidal. The first time we also had our huge bags on our backs, although I can’t decide if it was an advantage or not; on the one hand, it makes it an even tighter squeeze and you are conscious of hitting people round the face and knocking them over by accident, and yet at the same time you can clatter yourself some breathing space, so, while being conscious of broken noses and missing teeth behind you, you’re not as bothered as you’d normally be. Matt did have the unenviable experience of being pushed onto a baby by the sheer crush of people herding onto the bus, and having to use his body as a human shield to protect it whilst avoiding sitting on it himself. Even I must admit that sounds quite difficult. Then as it gets moving the heat starts to hit you, but you don’t worry about fainting and collapsing, because there was no way you could fall in the press of bodies. The bus could have rolled over a cliff and no one would have moved an inch, so I suppose it’s a nice safety feature. But we survived it, albeit battered, overheated and very angry by this point.

We divided our time into a Roman day, a Vatican day and a random walking around day. The legacy of the Romans is everywhere in the centre of the city; ruins, statues, arches and Roman architecture are scattered liberally around. The Coliseum was of course the great highlight. It was surprisingly cheap to visit, and is far bigger and more spectacular than you’d expect a 2,000 year old building to be. The underground labyrinth of rooms, storage and the like are exposed, where the arena floor would once have concealed it, and adds a mightily impressive size to the place. In its heyday it could hold 50,000, and must have been a phenomenal sight. The forum and palace, both nearby and included in the Coliseum ticket, are equally worth visiting, and leave you with a fascinating glimpse into the epicentre of the ancient Roman world, an integral part of European history.

The following day we decided the Vatican would be a good thing to visit. Well. The other two did, I was pretty unimpressed with the idea. We rocked up to find a ludicrous queue of people waiting around for hours to get heatstroke, as it was midday and about 35C. Needless to say I was even less impressed by this point, and was happily thinking of other places to go when the others found a tour guide to haggle with. Eventually we ended up paying an inordinate amount (to me, the others thought it reasonable) to join a tour and skip the queue of slowly cooking imbeciles and their rapidly melting brains. The tour was overly long and took us around a lot of early modern and Renaissance art by the likes of Michelangelo and Raphael. There was simply too much in the way of art, and none of it was particularly impressive or unique. In fact, to my untrained eye there seemed to be no difference at all in the various paintings, murals and tapestries, even though I spent several excruciating hours staring dumbly at them. The Sistine Chapel was worth a look, although there were so many people crunched into it it was hard to enjoy. There’s also something quite comical about a room full of people staring at the ceiling, though I am still not quite sure why. St. Peter’s Square was also quite interesting, and it’s fun to stand in a place you’ve seen a dozen news reports coming from.   Overall though the tour was expensive and about a week too long, there was too much art and were so many people I felt like fish in a shoal, although it was possible to stop walking and let the tide of humanity propel you to the next room, which was humorous for a few minutes.

Our final random walking day took a lot in, from the Pantheon and lots of miscellaneous roman ruins to the Medici family house and several scenic squares and plazas. Overall we spent an engrossing three days in Rome, and the ruins, culture and weather kept us constantly entertained. There was undoubtedly much we missed out, and Rome, perhaps unlike other places on this trip, could easily entertain you for a longer stay, maybe five days or a week. The heat wasn’t so bad at night, at least not in our tent, and the drinking fountains dotted around are good to help cope with the temperature.

“Our heroes, better rested, took to the tracks once more, and none could honestly claim to have not missed the experience. The past melted into memory, and for one of the party the road ahead was no longer unknown, as he guided his comrades to his secret home from home, the sanctuary of family ties present in even this faraway land. He led his friends on…”

Torre Del Lago

As you may have gleaned from the rather over-the-top story interlude, we were heading to stay with a relative of Alan’s, who had kindly agreed to let us stay for a while. It may seem a little bit like cheating, but we were on a budget and free board, and as it turned out free food as well, were things we couldn’t turn down. Alan’s grandmother (embarrassingly, because her English wasn’t the best and my Italian and French are non-existent I never found out her name) has a nice holiday home in the Tuscan coastal town of Torre Del Lago, meaning ‘tower of the lake’ (okay I said my Italian is non-existent but they are the only words other than Ciao I know, honest). It was very peaceful and picturesque, and gave us a chance to settle for a few days by the beach without the need to rush around finding things to do. It also proved a great place for me and matt to get both ill and sunburnt; it seems stupid to have a glowing red face and be sneezing at the same time, but I had that pleasure. Of course we had to do it in different ways, so I decided (decided is the wrong word) to be more ill than sunburnt, while made did it the other way round, with hilarious consequences. Having sat out in the sun without covering up, Matt came back and resembled a joint of pork. His skin was beyond the red stage and was nearer purple in places. I must admit we found it hysterically funny; I distinctly remember lying on the floor desperately fighting for air after a solid 15 minutes of laughter, so obviously I wasn’t much comfort. If ever there was an advert for sun cream he was it. For days afterward he could barely walk, and later his skin peeled in such large chunks it was like watching a snake shed its skin.

Aside from the beach, being ill and laughing at Matt, I also had the experience of riding the oldest bike in existence (probably) and definitely the most unsafe, which I used to get to the beach and back. I nicknamed it the clown bike. It was immensely heavy, and must have been iron or perhaps steel, with a seat four inches off the ground that couldn’t be raised, pedals, handlebars and wheels that were out of line, no brakes and one gear. When riding it I got the distinct impression I was not the only thing dictating the direction it was travelling. This did mean I was all over the road, and, with Italian drivers being renowned for their reckless driving and dismissal of cyclists as asking for it (which is how Alan’s gran describes their attitude, I would never generalise obviously) it is still astonishing I survived. For all that I loved it and wanted to bring it home with me, or ride it back to England, but I resisted the temptation. We also visited the lake which gives the place its name, which was beautiful, cool and tranquil, although our local guide Alan couldn’t remember where the tower was supposed to be.

Florence

While based in Torre Del Lago I found I was suffering train withdrawal; having been on one pretty much every other day for a few weeks you become surprisingly attached. So we decided to visit the romantic city of Florence which is in the vicinity. Despite being ill, I really liked it; the Renaissance streets, all cobbled and narrow, and the architecture from or redolent of the period were beautiful. The highlights included the elaborate and spectacular cathedral, and a bridge laden with shops, which was strangely pleasing. A climb also brought us sensational panoramic views of the city and the surrounding countryside.

Pisa

On our way back we opted for a quick look round Pisa. No surprises about what was the major, and as far as I could tell only, attraction in Pisa, the Leaning Tower. It was actually quite an imposing building, with neat columns and arches. It is, however, very aptly named, and does lean over at a ludicrous angle, and is definitely worth the effort to go and see. A slight dampener on the day was when I was napping on the grass beside the tower and some hateful friendless lowlife decided to turn the sprinklers on. He or she would switch one on, wait for me to move and settle somewhere else, and then turn the next one on. But never mind, it gave the other tourists something to chuckle at, and also goes a long way to proving my stubbornness for not getting the hint and leaving the grass as soon as the sprinklers started.

Torre Del Lago and its neighbouring cities were immensely enjoyable, although my illness was a hindrance and prevented me from doing as much as I wanted. The experience was largely a good one because of the generosity of Alan’s gran, who let us stay free of charge, as well as cooking and cleaning for us. The Tuscan region is immeasurably beautiful, with golden sand beaches and romantic mountains. (Can you tell I like mountains yet?)  Beautiful architecture combined with natural beauty is a hallmark of the region. The train journeys in that region give you so much to enjoy through the window, and it is a place that needs exploring in detail; seeing these sleepy villages and towns, and staggering castles and manor houses fly past the window made me yearn to get out and explore each one. It is certainly a place I’d recommend and was one of the great sustained pleasures of the trip.

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“Happiness is a wine best savoured, and our champions did just that. But there was something lurking beneath, that insatiable yearning for the new, for mystery and the unknown. At last they could fight it no longer, and set out for a new horizon…”

Interlaken

Our next stop was the Swiss town of Interlaken, nestled deep in the Alps. Our journey required a couple of train switches, and as we went deeper into Switzerland the searing sun of Italy slowly gave way to the ominous clouds of Switzerland. As I watched the spectacular scenery through the window, I also noticed the t shirts, shorts and sandals of the Italians giving way to the trench coats and scarves of the happy Swiss. This alarmed us, bedecked as we were in the Italian style, and the others, being weak and feeble creatures, changed into jeans, jumpers and even a raincoat on Alan’s part. I, as you can guess, am made of sterner stuff, and persevered with t shirt, shorts and sandals. It was when we got off the train at Interlaken, and I caught a glimpse of the first cagoule on a local, and felt the wind and the rain nipping at my bare limbs I regretted my decision. But, determined to hide my rapidly-blueing lips from the others, I marched on bravely. We found our hostel, a large building with a hostel on one side, hotel the other, and hurriedly checked into our bland, minimalist room, where I spent the next 45 minutes trying to revivify the feeling in my legs.  The hostel was adequate, although the room was a little sparse and lacking in personality for the price. The tables on the bar downstairs also had ‘no picnic’ signs on, which is the best thing I’ve ever seen; it has a blunt, to the point meanness to it, but also says something quite profound. It may seem strange but I found it so amusing I took one, which currently resides in my room.

The town, a ski resort in the winter (which didn’t feel too far off the first night) and hiking/activity place in the summer, was charming and attractive, but expensive, so we didn’t warm to the town as much as we had with other destinations. The scenery we’d travelled hundreds of miles to enjoy, supposedly of dramatic mountains and glistening lakes, was completely obscured by cloud. Feeling disappointed, we went to bed early.

When I looked out the window the next day, however, I was stunned into near silence by the breath-taking panorama outside; the clouds had gone, replaced by the dramatic mountains, bold and imposing on the skyline (yay mountains again). With the happy change, Matt and Alan insisted on us becoming mountaineers for the day. This, coupled with my determination to limit walking (I was still recovering from illness, that’s my excuse) drove us into getting a train and then a cable car as high up the mountains as we could reasonably afford and proceeding on foot from there.

The train afforded fine views, and the cable car, a small square thing that could just about hold four underweight people was fun, particularly when Alan and I childishly made it sway violently from side to side to test how strong it was, while Matt looked on scathingly.

The views improved with every foot we gained, and when we finally got off we climbed a nearby rock and had lunch perched above a gushing stream, which was idyllic in the extreme. We then proceeded to scale the mountain we were on, looking out onto the large mountain range of Jung Frau opposite, passing many cows along the way. I always thought the Swiss association with cows would be a silly cliché, but there were hundreds of them, all clanging away with bells round their necks. It was so postcard perfect it has to rank as the most naturally beautiful place I’ve ever been. We continued up along defiantly steep paths to the lofty height of 7,113 feet, which was not a bad accomplishment. The summit boasted a café and a place to rest, although the benches outside were overshadowed by a huge ‘no picnic’ sign painted on the side of the building. The way back down was harder work, and Matt managed to once again get sunburnt, while Alan got electrocuted on the cows’ electrified fence, but we safely reached our hostel just as the weather turned sour again.

Switzerland then was a visual treat, and was quite rejuvenating; the air was pure and refreshing and everything felt clean. The only criticisms would be of the prices there, and the fact none of the locals were friendly towards us, although it could be they didn’t like us rather than being generally unfriendly, it’s true. But the beauty and magnificence of the location made any complaints insignificant. I really enjoyed it.

“Our champions set off once more, with a shadow in their hearts. They sensed their pilgrimage was drawing to a close, that the journey was in its dying breaths, and they were sad. But, fortitude swelling them, they went on, determined to negotiate whatever challenge would threaten to slow their way, or to stop them completely…”

Paris

I have heard that the French trains are the best in Europe, but, while the first one we caught was modern, clean and working, the second succeeded in breaking down for about two hours, making our journey from Interlaken to Paris longer still. Eventually we arrived in Paris to find our hotel (there were no hostels we could find) and settled down for our final, and all too brief night. The room was rather small, and, while it claimed to have three beds, it actually had two, with a third mattress which slid out from underneath one bed to lie between the two beds on the floor. Matt was the unlucky one who had to contend with being kicked and slapped all night by stray limbs falling out of bed, completely accidently of course.

Our final night was shortened by our late arrival, and our activities the next day were somewhat curtailed by the necessity of finding somewhere to leave our bags; this was not a problem in most places, but Paris has a high concern for terrorism, so most lockers are not accessible, and the one station we found where we could leave things required an x-ray scan of the bags. That finally done, we embarked on a whistle-stop tour of the major attractions. Our day was too short to enjoy anything properly, but we managed to take in the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, opera house and Notre Dame Cathedral. We were also treated to an impromptu military flypast, as well as a flag-waving ceremony thing under the Arc du Triomphe, as France was in the build-up to Bastille Day.

We enjoyed our final meal, a picnic in a small park off of the Champs Elysees, and afterwards headed to the gardens and fountains between the Eiffel Tower and Louvre to watch the sun literally and metaphorically set on our three week Odyssey. Overall Paris was too brief as usual, and our touring was tinged with the sad knowledge that it was our last place before another excruciating bus ride home. Alan’s decision to sulk all day was also a slight dampener on the mood.  Bur Paris was pretty and relaxing, and was a fitting finale.

With the sun gone and storm clouds heading in, we made our way reluctantly to the bus park to catch another Megabus home. This one was to go overnight, and we all knew it was going to be horrible. I managed maybe 25 seconds of agitated sleep, but the persistence of some brainless, witless idiot jabbering on at the top of his voice in front, and the need to get off for the ferry meant it was a deeply unpleasant experience, without even the comfort of bringing us to a new place, as had been the case before. If we did it again I’d probably say screw the expense and get a train back. London was of course freezing when we arrived back, and I instantly missed my time in Europe.

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Final Comments

To summarise then, I would classify the trip as a resounding success. Some things were not ideal, and I know I complained a lot the whole way round, but there was such a lot I felt we achieved, so many new places and cultures explored and worlds visited. I enjoyed it a lot, and would happily spend my life doing it if I could afford it, even if it did mean taking the sodding megabus everywhere. My favourite country was Italy, for its natural beauty, history, warmth and variety. Poland was undoubtedly the biggest surprise, and Interlaken my favourite single place. I would recommend anyone to visit all the places featured here, as there was not one day where we did not find entertainment and fascination in something. It did at times feel like a comprehensive review of Europe’s train networks, with the occasional detour to a famous place, but the highs more than cancelled out the lows and it was well worth the effort. At least my wallet was lighter afterwards, which is a relief. I’ll leave you with the final thoughts of Alan and Matt, who, despite being irritating almost all of the time, were an essential part for an enjoyable trip.

Matt; “Even though at times Jamie had to go and have a wander whilst Al and I argued, it could have been unbearable if we had run out of money and Al had been hungry. Rijeka, Rome and Interlaken were great, and everywhere else worth visiting”

Alan; “The trip was a great experience. My favourite places were Krakow, Rome and Interlaken, for their cheapness, great history and fantastic scenery respectively.

“And so our three wise men finished their pilgrimage and returned safely back where they started, none the wiser but considerably poorer and lived out their days hoping one day to return to the unknown and mysterious, and would always yearn once more to be on their adventure.”

A European Odyssey: Inter-railing Europe

Interrailing is such a great way to visit Europe. It is surprisingly cheap, at least compared to flying, and there is no better feeling than to wake up wondering which country you’ll be falling asleep in next. The Interrail pass comes in different price bands, according to how long it’s for and how many travel days you require. Follow http://www.interrail.eu/interrail-passes/global-pass for more details. Seeing Europe by train is also a rather charming thing to do, as you can get stunning views of Europe through the window, and avoid the stress of check-ins and Passport controls that airport inflict on us all. There is something quite quaint and sophisticated in saying you are touring Europe by train, too.

Admittedly it does have its disadvantages, the obvious one being that trains can sometimes be a bit slower than planes, and it is easy to get angry just at the mention of another train after too long on one; A title for this could easily have been ‘why I stopped worrying and learned to love the train’. I, however, got to quite enjoy the train journeys, seeing different types of trains and cynically comparing their cleanliness and efficiency to other countries. If nothing else it makes you more qualified to discuss trains at home when some newspaper claims Britain’s trains are the worst in Europe (they’re not). Another drawback is that you are quite limited in what you can carry, because trains are small and crowded and there is only so much weight your back can bear, so that is a disadvantage of rail travel. These are trivial, insignificant whines when you realise how much freedom and adventure can be gained by Inter-railing (or Euro-rail if you are from outside Europe).

To finally convince you all to go for it, I will relate my own tale, broken into two scintillating parts; the way out, and the way back, because our journey was a vague loop, so part one chronicles the loop away from home and part two the loop back. It is I conceded in a slightly bemusing style, for you to enjoy and see how much was achieved even by my little group. Should you decide to do something similar, hopefully my tale can lead you to a few ideas of where to go, what to do and hopefully avoiding the silly mistakes we occasionally (okay regularly) made.

First though I should give a brief introduction before getter to the story proper. We originally settled on a moving holiday like this because we couldn’t agree on a particular place to go, so ingeniously decided to incorporate everyone’s idea into one big holiday. The rail pass we lumped for was the 10 travel days within 22 days. In order to get to Europe to start using the pass we used the cheapest transport known to man to get to Amsterdam, as you shall read soon enough.

Travel arrangements made, our next thing to consider was accommodation. You can romp up to a place and find any free room, but, being slightly cautious we used a hotel and hostel comparison site to book all our rooms in advance. The site had the advantage of having numerous user reviews for each place, so you had a vague idea what you were walking into, which proved a major advantage, and each place required a small deposit, the rest to be paid upon arrival. Our criteria for choosing places was essentially price, location and if possible security, in that order, and, give or take a few examples, largely succeeded in fulfilling these.

Our final consideration was our overall budget. Having gone for the cheapest travel and accommodation options, we had a rough starting point for a budget. After much wrangling we agreed to aim within the vicinity of £800 for everything. This seems quite low for 23 days of travelling, but check out some of my tips for keeping costs down (https://hmmmanifesto.wordpress.com/2013/10/09/how-to-travel-on-the-cheap/). Inevitably we all concluded we’d spent different amounts, but I figured I’d spent £700-750, nicely under budget through thrift and being a bit overly cheap. With all that worked out, we headed off. Enjoy.

European Odyssey

Part One: The Way Out

“On a mild, clear morning, as the sun sleepily blinked its eye over the horizon for the first time that day, three wise men prepared for a journey of mystery, adventure and danger, as they cast their eager eyes over the majestic Megabus, glistening in the new light; ready to carry them on a great pilgrimage back to where they started. Their journey was about to begin…”

 

The trip began inauspiciously with an alarm screaming inches from my ear at a time of day I didn’t even know existed. From there we journeyed on a train, the Underground and eventually a bus, which then proceeded to put itself on a ferry. The start of a trip is always the most aggravating, and this was no exception. Our aim was to get to Amsterdam in the cheapest way possible, which led us to the Megabus, a startling £4 from the centre of London, and was almost cheaper than walking. This seemed a great idea at the time. It did, however, take 14 hours to get there in some very cramped, rickety and uncomfortable conditions. But at that price it would be churlish to complain too much; not that that stopped us at the time. We eventually reached Amsterdam, in a condition not too much worse than when we left, to begin our tour.

Amsterdam

After a solid day of travel we immediately decided to get lost. The optimistically named Hostel Utopia succeeded in hiding for a good 45 minutes. Like most of the buildings in Amsterdam, it was tall and narrow, with worryingly steep and winding staircases. These proved quite a challenge, especially with a bulging, bloated  bag on your back. One thing I learnt is that it is better to fall backwards rather than forwards, as you usually land on something soft; probably the person following you up the stairs. Otherwise you crash face first into a step, then slide unceremoniously down until you reach a turn or the floor, whichever is sooner.  The room was sparse and rather undecorated, with someone’s kitchen looking straight into the room, but at least we had eight beds between the three of us, which was probably beneficial in some way.

Amsterdam was something of a disappointment in the end as we ran out of things to do, despite only being there for a night and a day. This may be down to the fact we were on a budget tighter than a tenor’s trousers but entertainment, particularly during the day, seemed to be thin on the ground. There was the unique architecture to enjoy, a result of property being taxed according to the area of land used rather than size, but this was resoundingly ignored by my two friends. We also went on a boat tour of the canals, which was good, although Alan succeeded in sleeping through it. The prices were familiarly high and the weather, an annoyingly persistent drizzle, was equally familiar. What was unfamiliar and alien though was the madness of bikes; every fence, lamppost and spare space had a dozen bikes leant against it. The prevalence of bikes was so great the train station even had a multi-story bike park. It makes sense for a narrow city with few streets wide enough to accommodate cars, but I didn’t see too many people actually cycling, which was strange. It must be said that Amsterdam has little class for such a historic city, as it has morphed into a place for two things; the famous red-light district and the equally famous coffee houses. If neither of these things interest you, or stretch your budget too thinly, there are much more interesting places to go.

Overall though Amsterdam served its purpose as a gateway into the rest of Europe, as well as offering some amusing moments and interesting surroundings. We dashed to the station as the sun crept below the horizon to retrieve our bags, deposited in lockers there earlier (a top tip, as it beats lugging them round all day) and discovered that our sleeper train to Warsaw was cancelled. After a few, very brief moments of hysteria and dejection we made our way to Utrecht, caught another train, although I have my suspicions it was the same one that had apparently been cancelled, and settled down for a long night.

 

“And so it was that our intrepid explorers hunkered down to face the challenges of the night, leaving the glow of red and orange behind for the great unknown. They had been tested, and had come through the stronger for it. As they slept restlessly through the miles, they knew not what awaited them…”

A quick sentence or two is needed regarding sleeper trains. They are quite a good idea to travel significant distances in some comfort, and sleeping is a fine thing to do while travelling. But they do have some drawbacks, chiefly being that you do have to pay a bit extra to reserve a place, although with the Interrail pass it isn’t too bad. It also depends on what sort of berth you go for; for the Amsterdam to Warsaw train we chose couchettes; small, narrow things stacked three on top of each other, with another three on the other side. Other people coming and going can be quite disruptive, and the trains can vibrate and shake, which I found quite comforting but others may find annoying. There are more comfortable ones available but naturally the price increases, though it’s worth checking because some countries are cheaper than others.

Warsaw

Warsaw, our stopping point for a few hours until our next train, was a remarkable change and quite a surprise. Having heard only negative things about everything east of Germany I was slightly anxious about what it would actually be like. We emerged, blinking, from the carriage to discover a modern and vibrant city. The sun burned over a scene of large, modern buildings, affluent people and recognisable shops and brands. I had, perhaps naively, half-expected to find a city in the grip of a post-communist hangover, and was pleasantly surprised to find myself mistaken, which is quite a rarity. Poland was geared up for Euro 2012, which did mean that many of the beauty spots had been cordoned off for the fans later in the day, but that didn’t detract from the charm of the place. Unfortunately we had to move on quickly, but it certainly left a positive impression for the time we were there. The weather was also astonishing; I hadn’t realised Poland was so warm in summer. Trekking round in jeans was a punishing experience; I nearly had to chisel my legs out at the end of the day.

Krakow

Another train journey brought us to the magnificent Krakow, which proved to be one of the highlights of the trip. It has the ingenious and oddly pleasing layout that many medieval European cities would once have had; it is all built around a large central plaza, which is the centre and hub of the city, and made navigating a foreign place perfectly simple; need food, drink, a night out, something to do or a train, simply head to the plaza and follow the signs from there. The plaza itself is a beacon for tourism, and is crammed with restaurants, cafes and shops.

Krakow also boasts an impressive and picturesque castle, just outside the city centre, commanding great views over the river Vistula, which is unquestionably worth visiting. As it is a city rich in history, there is a lot to do there in the day. The night is also quite entertaining, with a wide variety of bars and drinking holes, from modern trendy bars to quirky basements and warrens. The local beers are delightfully diverse as well as cheap.

We found our next resting place, Hostel Deco, to be the best of the trip; spacious rooms, comfortable beds, showers you could go in without having to scare off the marauding packs of bacteria and little creatures. It also had good character, sturdy lockers and friendly staff and free breakfast, all for a pretty low price; ideal, in other words. On the topic of prices Poland is excellent for those on stringent budgets. The food and drink was very cheap, especially the beer, and your money goes a lot further than it does in euro-using countries.

Auschwitz-Birkenau is situated nearby, so on our second day we elected to go on an excursion to the infamous former death camp. Some people may not consider visiting a former death camp the best thing to do while on holiday, but read my previous post on the subject (https://hmmmanifesto.wordpress.com/2013/09/25/why-visit-auschwitz/) A short and perilous mini bus journey later, when we put our lives and wellbeing into the hands of a maniacal driver who clearly had delusions that he was Fernando Alonso, brought us to the site of one of the most notorious events in human history.

Auschwitz was absolutely teeming with people from all over the world. The tours were cunningly assorted by language, and our guide was extremely well informed and interesting, which is always welcome. The press of people on such a hot day made a significant impression on everyone there; we all struggled simply walking round clutching bottles of water, so thinking about what it must have been like in the same conditions for malnourished people forced to work was quite a shock. The other lasting impression was of the scale of everything there. The two remaining camps were vast, requiring another short bus hop to traverse them. The exhibits also helped to hammer home the sense of scale; banks of human hair, collections of personal possessions and walls of photos of those incarcerated there were all huge and deeply disturbing. The absolute cruelty and stupidity of the whole enterprise was unequivocally realised when looking round, and, while I cannot say it was a good day out, it was certainly worthwhile. The surviving camps are well maintained and the place is impeccably run, so I implore you to visit if you are near.

Overall then, Poland was a pleasant surprise. We went during the Euros, and the media had been running stories of gangs roaming the streets in packs, and of police worse than the gangs. I had visions, fuelled by the media hysteria, of me hiding under burned out tanks and crumbling buildings, desperately trying to decide whether it was better to be beaten and left for dead by the gangs or the police. But instead we found organised, friendly, clean and safe-feeling cities geared up for the football and very welcoming to tourists. This, combined with great weather, natural beauty, inexpensive food and drink, and a rich history and culture, went a long way to debunking some stereotypes and lazy assumptions of the country we may previously have held.

 

“Our wanderers departed happy men, broad smiles consuming their faces as they boarded another train to draw them to pastures new. They had stood face to face with the unknown, and come through. But greater tests laid in wait, which would eat at the very bonds of their friendship…”

Budapest

We took our second sleeper train to Hungary. This was a better experience than the last; due to the difference in currency we could easily afford some more salubrious berths this time, meaning more space, no outside disturbances and complimentary food and drink. I was feeling rather brave, having found Poland so nice, and went to sleep eager to see Budapest.

First impressions perhaps weren’t the best. I drew back the blind to find what could be diplomatically be described as slums, complete with a man washing his clothes in a large puddle. My immediate concern was that our hostel would have the same water supplier the, er, sky, and that I would be expected to wash my beautiful hair in the same manner.  It is probably fair to say that the outskirts of Budapest are not the wealthiest in the world, and this rather put me off. Numerous concrete buildings, squat, ugly beasts, started to loom large as we neared the station, and my bravery soon melted to pessimism.

The train station was no more promising, so we bravely decide to find a shopping centre, that bulwark of civilisation, and plan our next move from the comfort of a Starbucks. This, obviously, is not a great thing to do when in a new, exciting and different city, but in our defence we were tired and had seen some pretty worrying things since waking up, such as a woman relieving herself in full view in the station. But a coffee and some food later and we were back to our usual, screw-it-lets-go selves. We briefly stocked up with the local currency, which was a thrill since I was almost a millionaire, and set out.

Having thoroughly explored the metro and tram networks we reached our hostel, which turned out to be an abandoned school, complete with desks and lockers, with a few beds in the corner and on an indoor balcony above the desks. I actually found this all great; it was quirky and different, quiet and very spacious, since our room was a classroom. That is until I realised the showers were horrible type you find in any school, stained and needing a button to be pressed every ten seconds to get the boiling water to slam into your face. But you can’t have everything, and it was cheap and fun.

The centre of Budapest painted an affluent, picturesque scene, with green areas, grand buildings and statues adorning every corner. We were unfortunately only there for a short time, so we couldn’t fully appreciate the differences and appeals of Buda and Pest in depth, but the nightlife was thriving and during the day there seemed to be a lot of things to do, which is a great combination. Plus the weather was great, and even the centre was cheap for food and drink, which is always an endearing feature.

However, the problem that many will inevitably experience at some point chose to happen here, and that is of friends becoming aggravated by each other’s incessant company and falling out. It is sad that my overriding memory of such a great place is sitting at a table watching my two friends glare and swear at one another for hours on end, over some trivial matter of what was said on twitter. I soon found I could get along fine by leaving them to it and walking off to drink and sulk on my own, but these things are annoying but do happen. However, those two always argue, and continued to do so, and a grovelling apology on twitter later made it all fine, although it ruined what promised to be a good evening. But never mind, no one fell out with me at least. I suppose I can be proud of that.

“The bonds of friendship may weaken but never die, and so it was with our brave heroes. Weakened, weary but alive they trudged on, for they would not countenance defeat. The world changed before their eyes, and they were ready…”

Zagreb

Our visit to Zagreb was also fleeting, but was another place that seemed pleasant, especially in the centre. The people were friendly enough, particularly the hostel owner, and we enjoyed our all too brief stay there. The weather was outrageously hot at noon, so we hastily took shelter and spent a lot of time at a restaurant, eating and sampling the local beers. The sun did reduce the amount we could achieve, but it was a nice change of pace from the more hectic flights around the other cities we’d been. The buildings were elegant with their terracotta tiles, and I was impressed by the amount of green areas dotted around; though how anything managed to stay green in that heat and light I have no idea. I also love any city with trams, as they are such a great idea. Plus the hostel owner told me no one can make you pay for them, and they are free to access, which is nice.

The hostel, a little out of the way, was clean and sufficient, although the night was awful; the temperature was an insult, my pillow felt like a decaying cat and Alan decided, no doubt delirious from the heat, to talk in his sleep, so was not the most revitalising night I’ve ever had. Fortunately I had a long train ride to try, and fail, to sleep through the next day.

Rijeka

Our journey to the Croatian coastal city of Rijeka was a great example of the beauty of train travel, as the scenery flying by the window often defied any superlatives I can think of. From crystal lakes to the sun setting behind the mountains and the slipping beneath the sea, it was startlingly striking. It was also a little fraught, as the train inexplicably split in half at one point, and we had no idea which half we needed to be in. I encouraged the others to take a different half to me, so at least someone would get there and I would be guaranteed a little peace, but to no avail. There are a few things continental trains have which I really like, too; the use of old fashioned compartments or berths, essentially little private boxes, is fantastic and charming. I know some people will say it’s an inefficient use of space but who cares, and who likes people who care about efficient use of space anyway? Also, the windows that open half way down so you can stick your head and most of your torso out are equally fantastic. Okay, so someone once in a while will get killed, but it really cools you down and you can appreciate the scenery better when most of you is no longer in the train.

After such a great journey, we were quite worried when we stumbled into what appeared to be a cargo port, complete with packs of sinewy tattooed sailors, undoubtedly because of Matt’s poor planning. I wanted to get straight back on the train and leave, as did Alan, but Matt, ever the optimist, declared Rijeka the best place he’d ever been and skipped off happily. Optimists are very annoying most of the time but occasionally they have their uses, and I begrudgingly followed. We spent the next few minutes lost, but finally found our hostel, which was at the top of a concrete block of flats, and boasted 14 beds in one room, a room definitely not designed for 14 beds. If I thought I was hot in Zagreb, I was in for an eye opener. At least there were a few fans going nearby, to move the boiling air around. Luckily I was too exhausted from my earlier sleep deprivation to survive much of the night, and comatosely slept regardless of the oven-like conditions.

During our stay we did locate a nice rocky inlet to bathe in the warm, slightly oily sea, which was good (ish), and the scenery, of blue seas and rolling mountains, was great, once you could see past the container ships. We did come across the legacy of the region’s recent history, the break-up of Yugoslavia. A plaza, with crosses and concrete blocks scattered across it, and the number 49 sprayed ominously across the floor. There was no other explanation or markings offered.

On our final day, using our ingenuity, we came across an old castle or fort, situated high above the city and commanding sweeping views over the buildings and the Adriatic, onto the mountains opposite. It was a stunning spectacle, which even the hideous concrete tenements, littered over the hillside, could not detract from. The castle and the views it offered were the highlight of Croatia. The tranquillity, the warmth and the natural beauty left a lasting impression on us. Once we had broken away from the city to the hilltops above, Rijeka transformed into an incredible destination. My overriding memory of Rijeka is of steps, as we had to scale a number hitherto unknown to mathematics in order to reach our castle haven. But it was worth it, just.

“From the unknown East they turned back west, to the beating heart of the continent they strolled. Perchance they slept, safe aboard their metal be-tracked cradle, and rocked, rumbled and shook their way once more. A new dawn, and a new horizon, awaited…”

Half time; the talking points from the Premier League

 

 

  1. 1.       Arsenal can go all the way, but only if they start winning the big games

Most of the season so far has seen the MotD team writing off Arsenal’s title winning credentials, dismissing them as continuously lucky. The Alans Hansen and Shearer were not in the slightest put off by the fact, with every week Arsenal sat on top, they were being asked the question yet again, persisting in their belief Arsenal will not win. However, enough of the season has progressed to prove that Arsenal have the potential to be genuine competitors, with new found strength of character to slog through games to win even when their flowing football goes awry.  But for Arsenal to go all the way they must start to win more of the big games against their title contenders. The 6-3 annihilation at Man City exemplifies this point, although failing to win at home to Chelsea and Everton should also stand as examples. Even their failure to bring back points from Old Trafford, which is not the feat it would have been in recent seasons, shows up Arsenal’s weakness against strong opposition. This season’s incarnation of Arsenal are more than capable of holding their own against the biggest teams; look at the powerful display to beat Borussia Dortmund in Germany as proof of that. Arsenal cannot afford to give their opponents the advantage in such a close season, and to be the ones waving the trophy at the end of the season they must improve their record against the big teams.

  1. 2.       City and Chelsea are favourites because of their home records

Following on from the previous point, Chelsea and Man City must be considered the strongest title contenders because of their indomitable home records. City’s imperious scoring record at home, with 38 goals and 10 wins from 10 home games is the best in the league. Chelsea, meanwhile, have Mourinho at the helm, and, while many criticisms can be levelled at the Portuguese manager, his home record with every club he’s managed is no small achievement or coincidence; a 150 game unbeaten home run from 2002 to 2011, across four clubs, and a current run of 41 home games without losing, with Real Madrid and Chelsea is a strong testament to Mourinho’s leadership. This gives them the advantage because both Chelsea and City expect to gain points from any opposition at home, making the problem for Arsenal in particular that they cannot steal victories from the big two away from the Emirates. This in turn puts enormous pressure on Wenger’s side to get maximum points at home, something they have struggled to do thus far. The near guarantee of home points provides a solid base from which to launch title challenges, and the records should not be overlooked.

  1. 3.       Owners have no respect for fans, and money should not be the only qualifier for ownership

The first half of the season has made it clear exactly how much influence the most important part of any club, the fans, really have in an era of private ownership and global representation of the Premier League. Hull City AFC’s 110 year history as the name of the club looks set to be changed, against the wishes of the fans, by owner Assem Allam who considers City to be boring and claiming Hull Tigers is more marketable. The protests of the fans and even the intervention of manager Steve Bruce have fallen on death ears, to the point where Allam, on hearing of the protest group ‘City till we die’, exclaimed ‘they can die as soon as they want’[1]. Similarly Vincent Tan’s less than considerate attitude towards his latest acquisition, Cardiff City, demonstrates a worrying trend. Tan’s decision to turn the Bluebirds’ kit red, because he prefers red and for the colour’s cultural significance in Malaysia, is just one of many slights to the beleaguered supporters in the welsh capital. Tan’s actions have almost single handedly ruined what should have been a joyous maiden season in the Premier League. His undermining and finally sacking of popular Malky Mackay, and the display of unbelievable ignorance of football are sadly endemic of the ownership Premier League clubs today are saddled with. The Football Association has the final say on who buys a club, but more than wealth should be considered when the centre of a community is at stake.

  1. 4.       English clubs are falling behind European rivals because of the number of competitive teams in the league

England has easily the most competitive domestic league in Europe, with Arsenal, Man United, Chelsea, Man City, Liverpool and arguably Tottenham and Everton all being major contenders, both in the league and in the transfer market. This I see as a key problem for Premier League clubs when competing in Europe for several reasons. Firstly and most importantly, it spreads the limited pool of genuine world talent very thinly across the league, which is not the case in the Bundesliga or La Liga. There are a finite number of top players who are willing to work in the Premier League, as many, for language or family reasons, choose to stay away. But with so many competitive and wealthy teams, no club has really been able to establish a monopoly of talent. Compare this to Bayern Munich, who are the inevitable destination of world class talent in Germany; Gotze jumping from Borussia Dortmund, and the impending departure of Lewandowski to Bayern are symptomatic of this. Bayern’s ability to monopolise talent in Germany with little domestic competition in the transfer market is a major factor in their lasting success. Similarly, Barca and Real Madrid attract the major talent in Spain. Another way to look at it is to compile the League’s starting XI; The Premier League would be a monstrous opponent if the talent was pooled, but individual teams look set to struggle in Europe against the biggest continental sides. The second detriment of a competitive league is the conservation of players’ form and fitness over a season. English clubs cannot afford for their key players to rest or go easy for a few games, as any slip up could be the difference between first and sixth, such is the level of competition so far this season. This is not necessarily the case in Europe’s other major leagues. While it is true that Barca’s players statistically play at least as many games as Premier League squads (for example 11 players played 40+ in 2012/13 while 8 did for Man City) the level of competition they face each week is comparably worse, so one may assume the expenditure of effort of Barcelona’s squad is lower over a season than in England. I see this as a contributing factor when looking at the difference between English and other European clubs, especially when they meet in the latter half of the season.

  1. 5.       Moyes’ decision to clean out backroom staff and alter a winning formula is his biggest gamble

Moyes was always going to struggle to replace the irreplaceable; Ferguson had had a quarter of a century to shape the club to suit his own style, so any change would take time. Moyes’ boldest decision, however, was to break even further with the past by removing Rene Meulensteen, the first team coach, Mike Phelan, the assistant manager, the goalkeeping coach Eric Steele and the chief scout Martin Ferguson in favour of his own men. While trying to forge the backroom staff in his own image, and moving to make it his, rather than SAF’s club, was bold but also a huge risk. The men he replaced could have acted as a safety net, a medium term solution to make the daunting task of reforming the club easier to manage by providing a link to the winning past. They also represented a highly successful formula, able to nurture the talent of the squad. In the long term Moyes, by placing his own people in these positions, may benefit, by making it clear it is his team, that things will be done his way and that he has the strength of character to look beyond the shadow of SAF. But in the short term he and his key staff are all locked in a battle to win over squad and fans alike, as well as to come to grips with a new club and a new level of pressure. The discarded staff represented a chance to lessen the level of changes, and Moyes’ move to ignore that chance may prove to be a serious error.

  1. 6.       Buying in the January transfer window is a sign of desperation

The January Transfer window, which for many clubs has been a source of contention for a while, is arguably losing relevance. With Financial Fair Play coming in, the grossly inflated prices in January are scaring away even the most financially secure clubs, who instead look to reinforce in the summer. It is also widely acknowledged that a winter signing often struggles to replicate their earlier form after their move; think of Demba Ba and Fernando Torres. Even when players are unsettled, or looking for first team action to fight for an international call up, moves are increasingly unlikely, because clubs simply don’t want to pay the inflated transfer fees. This then leads to my point about desperation. Clubs that are willing to pay excessive fees with no guarantee of their new player’s form is a clear sign that a club is struggling and is desperate enough to try and buy their way out of it. QPR over recent seasons have shown the danger of this, with huge fees and an eye watering wages bill for mediocre players and ultimately relegation. It may even come to the point where clubs will not want to sign in January simply because of the ridicule they’ll receive, although it is unlikely. But ultimately, the quiet January can be attributed to the fact that clubs will only do deals in January if they see no alternative, and have the financial muscle power to get away with it.

  1. 7.       Entertaining football now comes before winning

The Premier League is often considered the most entertaining league in the world, and that has certainly been the case so far this season. Much of this is down to the emphasis on forward, attacking play. It can be argued that the various owners and fans demand attacking play to the extent that it is almost getting precedence over results. Take for example Cardiff, whose owner Tan, while being nothing of a football man, as previously discussed, rebuked Malky Mackay in his infamous email for not playing entertaining football. How dare he try and win matches? This, you may think, is just because Tan is unrealistic, but also take into account the removal of Tony Pulis from Stoke, despite almost guaranteeing the Potters Premier League status each season. Fans demand to be entertained, and it is not just the lower teams; even the great Jose Mourinho, who has made strategic, some may negative football, an art form. The 4-3 win against Sunderland is the most notably uncharacteristic Mourinho result to date. Prior to the game against Arsenal, Mourinho seemed to be wrestling with the need to win and the demand to entertain, saying “We may have to take a step back in order to be more consistent at the back… I’m giving it serious thought. If I want to win 1-0, I think I can, as I think it’s one of the easiest things in football.”[2] It is a sign of the importance associated with entertaining football that Mourinho must struggle with the priority of winning and the demand to entertain.

  1. 8.       Pundits don’t know as much as they think

The match pundits, comprised of such footballing legends as Alan Shearer and Roy Keane often present their opinions, based on little more information than the average football fan, as an infallible truth. However, over the season it has finally become clear how knowledge as a footballer doesn’t necessarily translate into punditry. Michael Owen, who regularly professes on twitter that he has forgotten more about football than most people will ever know[3], seems no better at predicting or analysing than anyone else who cares about football. Take for example his criticisms of Arsenal; that they lack world  class players, that Ӧzil is overrated, are not a top four side and are a smaller club than Liverpool. These all seem, for someone who knows so much about football, rather questionable attitudes and, regarding Liverpool and Arsenal’s respective sizes, somewhat biased on Owen’s part. Of course, Owen may eventually be vindicated regarding Arsenal’s top four position, but they have proved more competitive than any pundit predicted. Dietmar Hamann’s criticism of Yaya Toure, describing him as a ‘liability’ on MOTD also raises the question of how much more pundits actually know than the general football-watching public, and this unpredictable season is proving exactly that, even for the experts.

  1. Fans shouldn’t be enraged by players’ gestures

This season has demonstrated that some football fans are perhaps oversensitive when it comes to players’ actions. Jack Wilshere’s tribulations, when making a gesture towards taunting Man City fans, as well as Theo Walcott’s smiling reminder of the score in front of Tottenham supporters in the FA Cup are interesting examples. Wilshere, who received a ban, was responding to City fans insulting his children, which begs the question why he was held accountable but no attempt was made to punish or reprimand the taunting supporters. And why was a ban necessary? If the supporters on the receiving end of the gesture were offended, it may be wise for them to consider what abuses they are shouting which warranted such a response. Equally Walcott (and I know it was in the Cup rather than the league) enraged fans to the point they threw coins and bottles at him and the medical staff carrying him off. The Spurs faithful, who were so incensed by the provocation, were moments earlier perfectly content to taunt Walcott for being injured, secure in their numbers that no individual could be singled out. Fans, who are always willing to give abuse, and which is more or less an accepted part of the game, must also learn to take what they dish out too, and to not overreact. JP

How to travel on the cheap

This is an attempt to make the rather expensive business of travelling the world a little bit cheaper. It is also an attempt to inspire you to get out into the world, and to show that money isn’t as crucial as it may seem to travelling. Most of us who like travelling have no choice but to work furiously all year in order to fund a few weeks somewhere nice. Indeed that may not even be enough, with the more determined having to beg, steal or blackmail family members out of a small donation to the travel fund in order to make the trip a reality. But, being one of these people, I can offer a few ideas on bringing the cost down based on my own experiences of wanting to go a long way as often as possible with limited funds.

transport– buses and trains are significantly cheaper- a holiday is about fun and comfort, but some compromise could be considered. For instance I went from central London to Amsterdam, and back from Paris to London for a total of £8.70. It was a 15 hour trip to Amsterdam, but allowed me to spend the money on much better things than a train (and i don’t mean prostitutes). Inter-rail passes and multiple-trip passes bring the price down massively; it is a good idea to plan ahead and install some military organisation to the expedition. Planes might be fast and direct but they are pricey, so always explore other options. Long train journeys often provide you with fine scenery and interesting views, so think of it as a tour. In planes you just look at clouds, which are kind of boring. You can also get sleeper trains, which are cheaper than a hostel and a plane, helpfully and cheaply combining the two.

 

 

where to stay– accommodation is a large part of the cost of travelling. Here are some perhaps obvious points but worth considering. Hostels are great and cheap; usually shared dorm-like places which compromise privacy but save you beautiful money, which is nice. Also staying outside city centres and slightly off the beaten track will bring the price down; the cost and efficiency of inner city transport links of course vary but just consider it an extra adventure to thoroughly explore the metro systems and wander confused through strange cities. where’s your sense of excitement?

Friends, friends of friends, relatives and relatives of friends  may prove a worthwhile line of inquiry. We all live in an international, globalised planet, which has no greater benefit than introducing you to a world of new people from different places and different cultures. Therefore a very careful, diplomatic and flattery-heavy inquiry to a friend near to places you wish to visit could provide a friendly, cheap place to stay for a short time. Your friends may be able to direct you towards others who are willing to meet and interact, and ultimately provide a place to sleep. Just try not to be presumptuous or rude when you ask, because you’ll end up losing a friend instead of gaining a place to stay.

Visiting attractions– in tourist areas attractions and sites can be extortionate to the money-shy. Of course, if you have made the effort to travel somewhere the least you should do is visit its main attractions; it would be idiotic to go to Rome and not see the Coliseum, for instance. However, going for a walk is often a great way of experiencing a place; a meander through the ancient streets of a great city,or a brisk trek up a mountain can provide an interesting and cheap day of exploring, and can lead you past hidden wonders and famous landmarks alike. Also a bit of investigation before you travel will pay dividends. Many top attractions in Europe are free or heavily discounted for EU citizens for example, so you may be able to do more than you realise. Lying on a beach is also a good, cheap activity, at least for a day or two.

Nights out– Nights out, especially in tourist-heavy places, can be a serious drain on your funds. If you are touring several countries, it may be wise to be selective of where you go out. Places like Hungary will provide cheaper and no less entertaining nights out than Germany, for example. While an early night is the cheapest option, it is also the most boring, so a combination of more sleep in expensive places and more fun in cheap places is ideal. Also, a careful selection of what to drink is important, as the price of specific drinks varies. Lagers and beers are cheap in Poland, at around 60p a pint, but heart-achingly expensive in Euro countries. However, wine is the main changer, as it is a euro for a bottle in Spain and France, and, unlikely as it seems, is actually of a high enough quality to be fit for human consumption at that price. A change in drinking habits may therefore be a good idea to save money. Also, buying cheaply from supermarkets prior to going out is a common and intelligent way of keeping costs down.

This quite obvious list is just something to bear in mind before you travel. However, the few generic points to take away are as follows;

planning is crucial to saving money. Just think of all the silly cliches about failing to prepare is preparing to fail. As annoying as they are they speak some sense.

researching where you are going, even if you don’t have a definitive schedule, can still be informative when deciding what to do.

compromise is key- have as much fun as comfortably and as often as possible, but keep in mind the expense of what you do and try and budget.

-and finally, get out there and see the world. Otherwise you will just sit staring at your laptop in your underwear reading stupid articles by people like me. So stop and do some travelling. Good luck.

Any new ideas for saving money are more than welcome, as I hope this list will grow as more things occur to me.

JP.

Why visit Auschwitz?

Recently, while staying in the remarkable city of Krakow, I decided to tour the nearby former Nazi death camp. It seemed a no-brainer; the epicentre of one of the most infamous episodes in modern history should not be something to be overlooked. Later, however, a friend of mine claimed she would not go, as it would be too depressing, and that she had studied it in depth at school numerous times anyway. Having been, however, I firmly believe it to be a good idea visiting, and here is my argument why.

-it is depressing, yes, but…

Of course, spending part of your holiday visiting a site that was responsible for the death of over a million people is not going to leave you in a good mood afterwards. However, while you may reflect that your visit was not a ‘good’ day out, it is a worthwhile one. The fact that it is depressing proves unequivocally that it is worthwhile, as it is imposing and complete enough to feel emotional while being there; a visit to other places, like Krakow castle or the Wieliczka Salt Mine may leave you in a better mood, the power of Auschwitz can still be felt. It is the emotions you will experience looking round that will live with you longer than the memory of pleasant scenery. The attachment and connection with the past is utterly inescapable when touring Auschwitz, something many historical sites cannot claim.

-it was horrible, but…

Nothing will change if you simply close your eyes to it. It is arguable that the site is not simply symbolic of a bygone era, of a more uncivilised time; on the contrary, news is filled with atrocities, wars and violence across the world. A visit to Auschwitz will most likely (if you have any empathy at all) stand as a symbol of the utter pointlessness of the violence, intolerance and destruction still going on around the world. Not meaning to stray into cliché so early, but evil prevails when good men do nothing (Edmond Burke), and Auschwitz is a compelling testament to that. I don’t mean to say that everyone who visits comes out politicised and radical, but it certainly gives a different perspective on both past and present. How many other places you’ll visit on holiday will achieve that?

-the scale has to be seen to be believed…

While Nazi Germany and World War II have been studied at school for several generations, it is fair to say that it is hard to grasp the numbers that are given. It is difficult to fully comprehend just how large the numbers truly are when simply read off a page. This is a significant reason why visiting Auschwitz is so worthwhile; it really helps to understand the vast scale of violence. Just seeing the place itself leaves a lasting impression of industrial-scale destruction. The remaining two camps that constitute Auschwitz-Birkenau (one was destroyed) are so truly vast it gives a sense of how many people were incarcerated there at one time, to be systematically murdered. A short bus journey is needed to traverse the entire sight, from one camp to the other. This is something that cannot be appreciated when reading a book. Also, many of the exhibits demonstrate the scale to visitors as well; pictures of a tiny number of those confined nevertheless line numerous walls; banks of hair ‘harvested’ from the prisoners, as well as a collection of empty gas canisters gives perhaps the most powerful impression of both the scale and the senseless, cold and inhumane nature of the entire place and operation. The collections of personal possessions, such as hairbrushes and glasses, also bring home the true human cost. It is simply impossible not to be moved when confronted with the physical evidence.

-The conditions have to be felt to be believed…

Another aspect that cannot be fully comprehended from a book is the conditions there. The summers are eye-melting, which I experienced first-hand in late May; I struggled to simply walk around clutching bottles of water, so what it must have been like, labouring in mid-august with little chance to re-hydrate, is a truly shocking epiphany you encounter when there in person. Similarly, Poland boasts a formidable winter, which also would have to be experienced to even begin to understand.

-Poland is great, especially Krakow

Another good reason to visit Auschwitz is that it can be incorporated into a wider exploration of Poland. Visiting Auschwitz will probably require staying in the city of Krakow, which is definitely worthy of a visit on its own merits. It is a fun, vibrant and, in my experience, safe-feeling and friendly city, with several excellent attractions of its own. The large medieval central plaza is a hub for food and drink, while everything is located off from it; I found navigation required blindly going to the plaza and planning from there. The castle, too, is excellent. There are also some interesting salt mines located nearby. Poland is also spectacularly cheap, especially food and drink, so can be made into a fun cheap getaway. The local culture is there to be sampled, and I found the people to all be friendly, English-speaking, and often very good looking.

So I hope I have illustrated why I believe Auschwitz is worth the effort, expense and inevitable depression you’ll encounter in visiting; it is depressing, which is exactly why you should go. It also brings you to Poland, a place I found to be completely different from my assumptions. A visit there certainly helped debunk a few stereotypes of how Polish life is. But ultimately Auschwitz, and trying to appreciate the horrors that occurred there and the nonsensical ideas which caused it, is a very worthy trip to make.

JP.